New Sorcerer Weekly
Sorcerer Weekly Magazine is a magazine that comes out with a new edition every week. Its information consists of weekly updates on Mages and their guilds. The covers of the magazines tend to star bodacious Mages, Mirajane Strauss and Lucy Heartfilia included. Whisper Matsuki's Love Love Talking- Interview with Luna Dragneel! Matsuki: '''Hi Luna! Here for your interview? You're early! I was just looking through- never mind. (Hides his hands behind his back) '''Luna: '''What's that you're holding in your hand? Pictures? '''Matsuki (blushes): Oh, you don't need to know, little Luna. Luna: Maybe not, but I certainly want to. (Reaches for the pictures) Luna: '''W-what is this?! It's taken at my house! A picture of me in the ''bathtub? ''There's more, too! There's even a picture of my mom! What have you been doing, you perverted stalker?! '''Matsuki: I'm no stalker- I bought these photos! Luna: You bought them? Who has been selling these pictures?! I want to know immediately. My mom really doesn't like intruders! Matsuki: '''Oh, I can't tell you. He'll get in big trouble. Now, for our first interview question! '''Luna: '''Ask away, but I'm not going to calm down until I find this perv and give him a good Luna-kick! '''Matsuki: '''Alright, next question... what are your three measurements? '''Luna: That's it! I'm leaving! You're such a pervert! Not only that, but this counts as sexual harassment too. Bye! And I hope I never see you ever again! Matsuki: '''What a shame! And I was about to put you on this edition's cover page! '''Luna: What? Really? Wait a minute... I've heard of you, you had an interview with my mother before! You told her that you didn't have the power to decide that! Now I know you're a liar, too! Matsuki: '''Now, Luna, don't you know, I've been promoted. I now have the power to decide who goes on what page! '''Luna: Wha-? Really? Then, it's 35-22-34 (inches)! Matsuki: Wow, your bust size has grown quite a bit, according to my sources! Luna: '''Sources? What sources? More pervs?!?! '''Matsuki: '''No, no, last year I asked your mom to tell me your three measurements. '''Luna: '''Seriously? You asked someone for a ''thirteen-year-old's ''three measurements? What a pervert! Wait, we're getting off track- what about this week's edition...? '''Matsuki: '''Right! Tomorrow come to the studio for the photo shoot. 3:00pm! Make sure to be there! '''Luna: '''Of ''course ''I'll be there, are you kidding me? Photo Shoot '''Matsuki: '''Oh, good, Luna, you're here! Did you bring your bikini? '''Luna: '''Don't worry, I brought tons! And they're all new. '''Matsuki: '''Good, good! Fantastic! The photographer will be very happy. '''Luna: '''Who's the photographer? Don't tell me it's another pervert! '''Matsuki: '''No, no, it's Jason! '''Jason: Oh, Luna!!! Yes, this will make all our readers want more! Try them on! I can't wait! 'Matsuki: '''Go ahead! '--- 30 minutes later ---''' '''Jason: '''Yes, yes, this one is the best! It's the smallest. '''Luna: '''Perverts. '''Matsuki: '''Don't tell me you don't want to do this anymore? '''Luna: '''Oh, no, no, no. Of course I want to carry on with the photo shoot! '''Matsuki: '''Good! Now pose... No, no, move a little sideways. '''Luna: '''Is this good? '''Jason: '''Yes, yes, that's fantastic! Ooh! Our readers will love this new edition! I can't wait..! *snap**click* Okay, we've got the photo! Now, let Rosemary come in. '''Luna: '''Rosemary? Rosemary Fernandes? '''Matsuki: '''Yes, you'll be doing a pair photo shoot. '''Rosemary: '''Hi, Luna! This'll be my first photo shoot with Sorcerer Weekly, I can't wait. '''Luna: '''Yeah, it'll be great! '''Jason: '''Now, pose together. Just face each other... step closer... even closer... '''Luna: '''We're almost touching each other! '''Matsuki: '''Exactly! Now hold your hands up and clasp them together. Yes, just like that, but scoot closer. Yes, yes! '''Luna: '''Perverts! You're all perverts! Shut up! '''Rosemary: '''Yes, I agree. I thought this would be fun but instead we're just targets for old men like Gramps! '''Luna: '''And guys like Gildarts! His bag is full of cut-out pictures of women. And he already has a child! '''Rosemary: '''I don't want people to cut out pictures of me and keep them in their bags. That's gross. '''Matsuki: '''But if we do this, it catches the attention of readers so they buy more issues! '''Luna: '''I have an idea! I'll tell my mom everything that happened today and she will publish that into the next issue! '''Jason: '''No, no, the readers will read it and not buy the issues! '''Rosemary: '''Too bad! '''Matsuki (to Jason): '''Don't worry, they won't actually do that. Just go on with the photo shoot! '''Jason: '''Okay. *snap**click* Done! Oh, this is great! This will be on the cover. '''Luna: '''What about my picture? '''Matsuki: '''Oh, that can be on an advertisement. '''Luna: '''For what? '''Matsuki: '''A dating organization for single Mages! '''Luna: '''No! You will not do that. Promise me! Or else I will... I'll destroy this studio and any other studios you have in all of Fiore! And when you build another, I'll destroy that as well! I'll keep on destroying them so you can never come out with any more issues of Sorcerer Weekly. Sorcerer Weekly is encouraging people in the totally wrong way. '''Jason: '''Now, now, okay. Have it your way, we won't put up any advertisement of dating associations. '''Rosemary: '''I didn't even know there was such a thing. '''Jason: '''Well, keep on the lookout for the next issue! You girls have to go!